On control and attitude

So I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to most aspects of my life. But I do have a seriously addictive personality so I suppose it's necessary.

You give me the chance and I'd eat drink and smoke a supermarket out of business. I'm definitely all about the pleasure principle. Even the pleasant and altruistic things I do is simply because i love the feeling. Set me a challenge and my heart quickens and my mind races.

I hate being beaten; I'm not talking about games, I can handle that with good grace and a smile. But if it comes to tangible and intangible achievements I really get wound up when I lose. The only exception to this is when I'm up against friends. If that's the case then I couldn't be happier for their success; most of the time it spurs me on to do better next time or re-evaluate my goals.

That's why I love and hate working on pitches. Show me a brief and I dive head first into it. My single mindedness sits there as my greatest aid and hindrance; I'll devote my entire focus to it during the day and go home and dream of it at night putting my entire life on hold. Busy, busy, must keep moving. Infinite patience and restlessness all in one. I'm a creature of contradictions.

I suppose I was always like that, I used to come up with random plans, schemes and adventures. Some might call it an overactive imagination or an attempt at escapism, I prefer to think of it as signs of early strategic thinking.

Guess I've never grown out of that, I still spend most of my day plotting, scheming and working out how to get one over on a competitor. Only now I call it media and I get paid for it.

Life has a way of working out sometimes, when you think about it.

That's why when you see me on the street, I'll have my shoulders back, eyes locked forward and a purposeful stride because at all times I need to know where I'm going. Minute to minute, year to year.

Kinda sad in a way.